Wino...

So, I just calculated what I had today; this is the shit:

Coffee - Black		22
Kexchoklad		512
Sweet Bread - Semitas	C	105
Beer, Regular	C-	1,225
Wine - White, Dry		238

I feel that I will never have beer again.. I can't do without the alcohol, but beer is the cheapest. Wine is pretty expensive, vodka and stuff like that is even worse. Dear me...

Yoyo - Mindsetting

Hi my little birdies!

So, I havn't been updating much, bur right now I'm in a phasing up phase... I guess. I've been thinking a bit of what I've been stuffing in. Not enough, I still do the between meals snacks. Have to get rid of them. I guess I'm going to let it ride in slowly, getting used to having less, less sugar, smaller meals etc.

It's hard. I think I've known for quite some while that I'm a yoyo. I think that just because I've never been "big", that's the reason for my yoyo'ing. I do between 46 kilos (101,2lbs) to 56 kg (123,6lbs) and I think my body's fav weight is 52 (144,4lbs). The 56 kg is kind of a moderated truth. I weighed that much once,  a couple of years ago. But the numbers keeps hunting me.

For me, the problem is that when I lose the weight, I feel safe. So I stop restricting a bit, and then some more... and then I'm back to cheese and cream! And then I hate myself again...

So, I've started to think about what I put in my mouth, it'll prolly be another two weeks before I start counting. I have to take it step by step. I have to remember what I did to get down to 46 the last time, and then try to stick to it. Wish me luck, I will prolly post more the more controll I get!

Fridens liljor!

Is there anybody out there?

Hi!

I just logged in for the first time in ages, and was greeted but an old message; "come back!".
I'm sure hoping that I will be back soon. Don't end your "followings", I'll be back on track soon! I just need to get school and work on track! I think I will be able to post at least 2 times/week! I will get back to you on what I'm doing and every thing! Do you have any tips on new diets? Otherwise I might try one of the old ones... again! Better luck this time!

It's hard to stay on a diet when you have NO money! Then you really have to go through your cabinettes not to starve, and there you have all the pasta and sugary stuff. I think I'll get an alright pay by next month, then I might be able to set a week menu.

I havn't stepped on the scales since may. I don't think I want to.. :( The goal this time is to get into my skinny jeans. Size:28/32, swedish size. Wish me luck!

I'm alive! I'll be right back with you in the end of may when school is out! =D Stick with me!

Happy Easter!

Gosh, I hate and love this holidays! Love it for the awesome food, hate it for the same reason! But I suppose one day of totally overeating is alright. I've been doing pretty good, not good enough though since the scales wont move! Damn damn! Still swamped with school work! I'll be back on here more regurarly soon, I promise!

Here's a little easter witch for you all! Hope you enjoyed the holidays!

Just a quick laugh...

...then back to studies... promise!

One meal/day

I slept super long today. I think I better start taking my allergy pills soon, I think that's why I'm so tired! I just had tea all day until I got to work. There I had a small sandwhich with cheese (of course) and some peanuts. I think that's ok! I have no idea how many cals that is. I know that the two slices of cheese are worth 100 cals, but the rest... hmm... can't be that bad though, even though I know that peanuts are super high cal!

So now I'm back in my pretty little sofa, gulping down even more tea! I have to be careful not to run out though, I wont afford to buy more. I guess I can always take some from work.

Just watched the finals of the swedish Biggest Loser, very inspiring! I don't think I'll have the time to post anything this weekend. We'll see!

And just because I have absolutely NO money, I have this urge to shop!!

Well, i guess I'll go on a diet

... because I made a mistake and payed 3 months rent in advance so now I am completely broke! At home I've only got some pasta, fish and vegetables and that's what I have until the 25th. Let's call it the Skinny Poor Girl Diet! Haha!

Sorry for not posting, it's been Hostel Mont Noir at my place for the last week. First I was visited by a friend from Brussels and then my mum spent the weekend here. Busy busy!

Spring is finally coming to Stockholm, yey! It fills me with so much energy. Tomorrow I don't have any classes so I will take a walk into town. It takes about 40  minutes by bike so we'll see how long it will take. Also, I wont have the money to buy a new commute card, so I guess I'll have to rely on my legs and bike. I hope it won't be raining to much! I guess this is the month I'll finally stop smoking and also a white month since I wont be able to buy any wine. Sounds like a really boring month! Haha!

I bought a new couch this weekend, it's awesome. A really cute rococo thing in pink. Love it! So there's where I've planted my butt for the evening watching the swedish finals of Masterchef.

Spring is here!

No rest for the wicked

So it's past 11 pm and I'm sitting here drinking coffee so that I won't fall asleep. I have to finish a part of my composition by tomorrow. I'm so far behind! But at least I'm doing it now. I always work better with the whip on my back. Food wise has been horrible today. I really have to be better at not falling for tempation when at work. Crap crap crap.

How's your day been? =)

Day 28: Are there any foods or drinks that you've completely banned yourself from consuming or do you believe in everything in moderation?

Well, I've tried. But as soon as I tell myself that I can't have something, my mind focuses on only that, so I don't think that's the right path for me. So I guess that I believe in everything in moderation... or less :)

Weekly challenge: Go buy yourself a nice item of clothing one size too small, hang it somewhere visable. Think about how good it will feel when you can fit it!

I get my salary on friday, so this is very doable! Haha

Day 29: What is your current weight? Have you lost, gained or maintained your weight since day one?

I've maintained it, I'm still 50 kgs ( 110.2 lbs). No wonder though since I've been cheating so much!

Here's a litte treat for you. I was bored this morning, so here's some skin! I actually like the way my back looks, it's not as fat as my thighs! Damn you thighs!!!

stress

So, back on my feet since thursday after being knocked out by influensa. Yuck!
Have so much going on right now and so much for school so this week I wont have much time to blog! That gives me sometime to figure out what kind of regim I should take on. Maybe SGD again and actually try to follow it through. Do you have some diets you think I should try? I'm pretty open to anything right now!

Here's the follow up on the 60 day challenge, I've been pretty good at keeping it up. Not working out when I was sick, but still, then I hardly ate anything.

Day 20: Do you binge? How often and what triggers it?
Yes, maybe once/month. What triggers it if often when I'm doing really well on a diet or the opposite. If I've done well, I always think that I can have a little treat and then I end up emptying the fridge. When I do bad, I just think "what the heck! I'm a fat pig anyway!"

Day 21: Do you listen to music when you work out?
Not really, I usually work out by taking fast walks and then I find it annoying and somewhat scary not o hear what's going on around me. When I work out at home I do it infront of the TV.

Week 4: Switch up your diet! Try one new fruit and one new vegetable everyday that you havn't tried before and learn how to cook a healthy meal.

I'm just going to skip this challenge since there isn't much in our supermarket's veggiestands that I havn't tried, and I'm already a good cook so...

Day 24: Is losing weight one of your top priorities in life?
Yes, at the moment. It's what I think about the most.

Day 25: Do you ever eat fast food?
Yes, some days I let myself to a small cheeseburger, but then it's only that. It's about 320 cals. I wash it down with some Coke Zero.  :)

Day 26: Do you drink alcohol? What do you generally drink?
Yes, I drink quite much, often by myself maybe two nights/week. I know it's not good... I drink white wine.

Day 27: Does shark week make you more hungry and do you allow yourself to eat more at this time of the month?
No, luckily it doesn't affect my hunger at all. I get more thirsty though...