29 February 2012

So much food!


So, day two of the ODM diet is done, and I am so full! Still after 2,5 hrs! I almost felt as if I was force feeding myself at dinner.

Yesterday was so much better! I had a lovely lunch of two eggs and a tomato. I mixed it together to make it more of a sallad and added some spices.  Yum! And for dinner I had half of the boiled meat I made with some green sallad. Lovely as well, a bit too salty though.

But today! Had toast with nothing and a cup of coffee for breakfast. Then I had the same thing I had for dinner last night as lunch. So far so good. But dinner! 5 oz of ham and a yogurt (0% fat). My tummy hurts now!

Sorry for the short post, have no energy and I just want to go to bed!

Fridens liljor!

Question 10: Do you eat breakfast?
I do now! Usually I don't but I think I will try to make it a habit! Apparently it's good for you! Haha

28 February 2012

Ruined plans

Stupid snow! It has been gone and getter warmer the last week so I figured I would go out for a morning walk this morning before breakfast. I even set my alarm at 7 o'clock.. I NEVER get up that early normally. But when I saw the snow falling I just put my head back under the covers and slept for another two hours. So here I am waiting for my coffee to cool down. Maybe I'll get some school work done!

Question 9: What is your favorite food? Healthy or unhealthy?

I think you all already know; CHEESE!

27 February 2012

Here we go!

Looking forward to starting the ODM diet tomorrow. All the groceries are bought and right now I have 2 portions of the meat boiling at the stove. I bought some really cheap chuck cut so some of it was more suitable for to be boiled. Only added water, some onions and a lot of spices. I think it'll be fine! Also, 400 SEK for one week of breakfast, lunch and dinner isn't much at all! That's great since I'm a student!

I went to the blood central today because I wanted to finally sign up to be a blood donor, and everything went great until I was to roll up my sleeve for the test and the nurse noticed my scars. I don't know if I put it on the blog, but a couple of weeks ago I kind of relapsed for the first time in two years. I just went to a very dark place. It was pretty scary because since then I havn't had any of those tendencies and not before hand either. So, she told me that because of that little slip up I can't be a donor for at least two years! Sure, I get the whole thing that if I cut I might contaminate the blood, but two years?! It was just to make sure that it wasn't a recurring thing. No wonder that we have a shortage on blood in this country if they're going to be like that!
Only good thing about the visit was that they wanted to weigh me just to see that I hadn't lied on my health application. She also told me that they probably would everytime I got there to give blood. Just to be sure. That  made me feel a little better about it :)

Anywho, I guess I'll have to put my Florence Nightingale ambitions to the side for now.

Almost forgot to post the 60 days challenge thing!

Question 7: Do your friends and family know that you are trying to lose weight?

I think that most of them are aware of that I like to try out different diets. But I don't think that they know it's because of the weight but more from a health perspective.

Question 8: Name five things you like about your body and the one body part you would like to change the most.

Ok, here goes. 1. My eyes 2. My wrists, they're tiny! =D 3. My boobs, small and perky 4. My mouth 5. Darn, it's getting hard now. Hmm.. I'd say the shape of my nails!

The one thing I'd like to change the most are my thighs, and with that my bum. I feel like it's kind of a package deal. Damn you, womanly shapes!

For week two of this challenge I am also supposed to stick with the non cheese eating thing. I can keep that unless for friday when I'm supposed to eat gruyere cheese for lunch. I think that's what won me over! I just looves my cheese.

The new challenge is to get organized, thankfully, the new diet is all set in stone. I love that! We'll see how it goes when it's done! Haha

25 February 2012

Good mood

Hello all!

I hope that your weekends are good. Mine is! But I guess I will start this tale from the beginning. Or from Thursday that is since I havn't written since. Bad me!

So on thursday I kind of forgot to eat, so I decided to stick with it for the whole day and it worked. I was working during the day, then I had a date in the evening. It was really nice, it was with this guy that I dated a few times this spring and now he contacted me again. I don't know why we stopped seeing eachother, I guess that life got in the way! So I did have some calorie intake due to drinking some wine, but I still think that I did well.

On friday I got payed, and I just couldn't resist running by Burger King on my way to work and had a small burger. I've been craving meat the last couple of days like crazy. Don't know why! So that was like 300 cals. i also had a coke and a cookie during the night at work, so that day I had about 800 cals I guess. Pretty high, but I've decided not to beat myself up for these little slips.

Today I made sure to really cure my beef craving by making a steak for dinner. Only the steak, nothing else so that was about 450 cals. And I also had a small sandwich at work so that rounds up to about 700 cals. Still ok, I mean, it's the weekend! Right? =)

I've found this 7 days diet (that could easily be prolonged) called the One God Meal Diet. I don't know why it's called that, because you actually have 3 meals/day. This is how it works:

Diet Menu for Day 1 of the One Good Meal Diet
2 eggs + 1 tomato
7 Ounces of RED meat + a green salad.
Diet Menu for Day 2 of the One Good Meal Diet
Coffee + toast OR cracker
7 Ounces of RED meat + green salad
5 1/4 Ounces of ham + 1 cup of yogurt
Diet Menu for Day 3 of the One Good Meal Diet
Coffee + toast OR cracker
Green salad + 1 tomato + 1 mandarin orange OR regular orange
3.5 Ounces of ham + fruit salad + 2 eggs
Diet Menu for Day 4 of the One Good Meal Diet
Coffee + toast OR cracker
5 1/4 Ounces of Gruyere cheese + 1 egg + 1 carrot
Fruit salad + 1 Yogurt
Diet Menu for Day 5 of the One Good Meal Diet
5 1/4 Ounces of ham + 1 cup of carrots
7 Ounces of broiled fish + 1 tomato
8 3/4 Ounces of RED meat
Diet Menu for Day 6 of the One Good Meal Diet
Coffee + toast OR cracker
1/4 Baked Chicken + 1 citrus fruit
2 Eggs + 1 cup raw carrot
Diet Menu for Day 7 of the One Good Meal Diet
Coffee + toast OR cracker
7 Ounces of RED meat + 1 citrus fruit
Anything you like up to 500 calories

I think that I will start it when I get the rest of my salary so that I can buy the whole week's groceries at once.

Anywho, here's the questions for the 60 days challenge.

Day four: Do you work out?

No, I'm really bad at that. I happens that I do some light working out at home, but I don't have a routine. Luckely I have a pretty active job now, so I move around alot and move heavy objects :)

Day 5: Is there any specific event that you would like to lose weight for?

Hmm... Beach 2012?

Day 6: Have you ever been overweight or underweight?

No, never. Not if you're going by BMI or something like that.

O well, bed time. Another early morning tomorrow! 

Fridens liljor! 

24 February 2012

Open reply to Mr Nye

Hi, so this journalist left me a comment, and I've decided to share what I wrote back to him.

"Mr Nye,

Thank you for your comment and shown interest. Unfortunately, I don't think that me reply will be to much help.
I have never stated to be pro-anorexia or supportive of it. Eating disorders are terrible conditions that I wish for no one.
Yes, I do try out regims and diets that are probably unsafe, frowned upon and widely used in the pro-ana communities.
Sure people might find it offending and maybe triggering, but not once have I written anything about being pro-ana.

Good luck with your research.

Best regards,

La fille du Mont Noir"

Just thought that you might be interested. I have to get to work now so I'll write more tonight or tomorrow!

Fridens liljor!

22 February 2012

Days are over too fast

Hi all!

I've been in a pretty good mood all day! Calm morning with coffee in a cup instead of my bag, just sitter at home in the gray morning light, listening to silence. Loved it! I found some charcoal so I desided to make a self portrait. It turned out alright I think, being my first time and all. Sure, it's a bit crooked and uneven, but hey! So am I :)

Not much else happened today. I've done pretty good. I had no cheese! =D For dinner I had some pasta pesto and I've snacked on rice crisps. That's a total of about 540 cals. Pretty good I think! Maybe all this good thinking thing is going to work. 

Question three: Do you count calories? What is your daily calorie goal/allowence.

Well, I guess you've already figured that I do. I don't have a limit at the moment. I guess I'm alright being under 800, really happy if under 500. I think I'll only do this 60 days thing at the moment, last time I tried I did it at the same time as I did the SGD, and I messed up, so. 

Fridens liljor!

21 February 2012

Worst morning ever!

This was a morning from hell! I got up early, feeling good, making my coffee to go. I get to the subway and suddenly I feel this really strong, nice scent of coffee. I feel my bag. It's warm. I open it and find all my school books, my passport and my pens swimming in it! NOO! Luckely I had a nother bag with me with my work clothes so I could put my stuff in there. I got so mad that I just took the coffee drenched bad and the coffee mug and threw it in a dumbster! Then when I got to class, I found out that appearently my homework never reached the teacher! Dubble NOO!

At least I didn't have any cheese today. Had a crappy lunch, since I don't have any money I had to buy something out of a machine using my cell phone. So I had chips... 208 cals, so it's ok I guess. And I didn't have any cheese when I got to work! Yey on me! Had some dinner when I got home though. The only thing edible I had was some breaded codloin, about 400 cals. So today's total was just a little over 600. Not too bad!

Just wanted to thank Zasha for the nice pick-me-up comment! I made me smile, and she's right. I shouldn't be beating myself down. I should try to stay strong and positive and make this a fun experience! I'll try to keep it up!

Today's question: What is your main reason for losing weight? (Be honest.)

Well, I just want to look good! And right now I'm not happy with what I see in the mirror. There you have it!

I'm a joke!

I don't know wether to laugh or cry, I'm quite pathetic actually. It seems as if I have a food magnet in my mouth these days. I just can't resist. Especially at work! Damn damn damn. I even had a Mazarin today! I don't know what's wrong with me!!

Hello, future me!

So, I said that I'd start the 60 days challenge today. So here goes!

Day one: How tall are you, what do you currently weigh, and what do you hope to weigh after the 60 days? (Be realistic)

I'm 5'2 ft (1.61 m), my current weight is 112.2 lbs (51 kg) and it's all on my hips! Hopefully I will be down to around 107 lbs by the time I'm done. I've been lighter, but I try not to get my hopes up to high. Think I could manege? 

Also, there's a weekly challenge. To stop an unhealty habit. For me, I'm going to quit on cheese. That's my biggest weakness and I'll miss it tremendously!Wish me luck!

19 February 2012

New week, new chances

Well, I'm a bad little blogger now aren't I?!

My plans to fast totally back fired since I forgot that my mum was coming to town. She's like a major feeder! Funny thing is that she is on her way to lose weight too (she looks like a litte pig at the moment!) and she's doing really good. Doing hot yoga 5 times/week and doing the GI-diet. But when she comes here she's like obsessed with cooking for me. Sure, she doesn't use any thing that's has a high glycemic index, but damn that woman likes her butter! Everything she fries is more or less boiled in butter! And she wonders why she doesn't lose weight quicker?!

Enough about that though! Since I didn't do great, I think of having another go tomorrow. But due to a test on tuesday I think I'll need some nutrions for my brain. So I'll probably have a small bowl of low fat yogurt with some raspberries for breakfast.

I found it to be pretty hard to resist tempations when you work at a café, I'll try to do better!

New week, new goals! Tomorrow I'll start the 60 days challenge too (didn't I say that last week? Hmmm...)

Fridens liljor!

14 February 2012

Lots of love to all of you!

I just got back from a super nice dinner at this restaurant called Smak (taste). It was wonderful, you choose like 2 or 5 smaller dishes (I would have chosen two if I wasn't there on a date, but I didn't want to seem picky) and these are the ones I chose: 

Yuzo – ”Tataki” tuna, watermelon, wasabi

Coriander – ”Crab cake” avocado, lime, chilli
Capers – “Anglais” duck liver, smoked duck, beets
Garlic – ”Millefeuille” snails, parsley
Truffles – ”Kroppkaka” bacon, cèpe mushrooms, lingonberries

It was absolutely wonderful and the date was really nice too. I think I'll say yes if he asks me out again! Yey!
Earlier today I went to my orthodontist and fixed my braces. I now have two very important rubber bands like IN MY FACE! Haha but it's just for a short time, so it'll be fine!

I'm thinking about fasting tomorrow and the day after because of my fine dining splurge today. Do you have any good tips? Unless drinking the water. I would want to do it for friday too, but I won't be able to because of work. Is it a waste of time if I don't do it for more than 3 days? Maybe I'll be able to go through the weekend?

Anyways, happy valentine to all of you! Love


I'm have such a hard time getting up in the mornings at the moment! I would like the bed before I absolutely have to, so today (instead of studying) I slept and watched anime until 1 pm. So, now I've had to study until my eyes are bleeding until it's 2 am and then I'll just repeat it all again tomorrow! Gah!

So, what did I eat today? I havn't really had any meals, I've just been snacking all day. I guess that's the reason for the cals to be so high. Any who. This is it: 2 x rice cripies with pb, 2 x coke zero, some aloevera juice, 2 slices of cheese, 1 slice of smoked turkey and then two pieces of toast when I got home. That's 615 cals.

But hey, I shouldn't fool myself. 615 cals are still low, like really low. So I still feel pretty good. Didn't do anywork out, I do enough when I work!

So tomorrow I don't think I'll count anything since this guy is taking me out to dinner, a quite fancy one too, so I don't want to ruin it by being picky. Which me luck!

Btw, what's the best leg exercises you know? I just noticed that my legs are disgusting! :S

12 February 2012

Dumping a friend?

My oh my. Last night ended really really badly. I kind of had to tell this friend of mine that I can't see him anymore. He told me around christmas that he's in love with me and I thought I kin of had feelings for him too. Later I realized that I don't. He get really sad and me too. But it's better just to tell him, right? Out of desperation I made myself a small omelett for a midnight snack, so that ads about 190 cals to my 300.

Today I woke up with this major panic attack! I havn't had those for ages. It felt as if my heart would just jump through my chest or that I would puke it up. Sweating like a pig, I felt terrible! So I've been taking it very easy today, watching pokemon (yup, I'm a nerd) and staying in bed. I've been alright with food. I had some low-fat, plain yogurt, some minestrone soup and tonight I had 2 low-fat grilled cheeses. I was in desperate need of some comfort food. Total today: 750. It seems quite high, I know. But it's the weekend, I need to cut me some slack! Also! I havn't been smoking all day! Good on me!

I think I'll skip studying tonight and go to bed early. I'll do my homework tomorrow before work. So, Valentine's coming up, I got this guy I've never met to ask me out for dinner! Yey, we're going to this nice place with pretty lean nice food. It will be easy to keep the cals from running high! You guys have any plans?

11 February 2012

Today I went for a 30 min walk and walk all my stairs (I'm at 6,5 fl). Went to a girlfriends house for a cup of tea, and I had this amazing open apple pie. 300 cals. Since thenI've had a bottle of wine. But atleast I walked up the stairs!

Food: about 300 cals

Ok, let's do this.

Hello strangers,

So, I think I'm ready to give this another go. New motivations, new looks for the blog. What do you think of it? Pretty motivational to me!

 I was sitting in the bath tub and listening to some inspirational music (see below for list and here's the spotify-link for those who have it: Spotify list) and now I've decided. I can't live like this anymore. I look terrible after almost two months of not having the energy to even think about what goes into my body. Yuck! I havn't gained a terrible lot (I'm 51.2 kg now), but I look it. I look saggy and unfit. I won't have it!

Before completely changing my regime and getting started with the SGD again (fingers crossed) I will just try portion control and say absolutely no to any sugar. No candy, no sodas or anything else sweet. Only reason for not getting started right away if for being flat broke, so I can't afford to buy anymore food than I've already got. So I will post what I eat every day, starting tomorrow, and I will try to make at least 30 mins of excercise done everyday (this is so going to be my week spot! I'm WAY to lazy!)

Also, I think I will start over with the 60 days challenge. For those of you who've already read it, just skip that part!

Let's do this shit!

My skinny music list:

3 Doors Down – Be Like That
Adele – Hometown Glory (Album)
Bethany Dillon – Beautiful
Bon Iver – Skinny Love
Christina Aguilera – The Voice Within
Coldplay – Yellow
Coldplay – Fix You
The Cure – The Exploding Boy - Studio Demo
Cute Is What We Aim For – The Curse Of Curves
Edith Backlund – Skinny (P3 Sommar Session Version)
Eels – My Beloved Monster
Eleanor McEvoy – Sophie
Elisa – Dancing
Filter – Skinny
Fiona Apple – Fast As You Can
Foo Fighters – Skin And Bones
Fun. – Be Calm
Fun. – We Are Young - feat. Janelle Monáe
Garbage – Stupid Girl
Garbage – When I Grow Up
Glee Cast – Defying Gravity (Glee Cast Version)
Glee Cast – I Feel Pretty / Unpretty (Glee Cast Version)
Goo Goo Dolls – Acoustic #3
Huntingtons – Fade Away
Ingrid Michaelson – Keep Breathing
Interference – Gold
Jónsi – Sticks & Stones
Juliana Hatfield – I'm Disappearing
Kasey Chambers – Not Pretty Enough
Kate Nash – Skeleton Song
Katy Rose – Lemon
Kittie – Paperdoll
Lily Allen – The Fear
Lisa Loeb – She's Falling Apart
Maria Mena – Eyesore
Maria Mena – Just A Little Bit
Marketa Irglova – The Hill
Melissa Horn – Långa nätter
Melissa Horn – New York
MIKA – We Are Golden
Missy Higgins – Katie
Muse – Time Is Running Out
Muse – Unintended
Nada Surf – Weightless
The Narrative – Starving For Attention
Natalie Merchant – Tell Yourself
Natalie Merchant – My Skin
Nikki Flores – City Lights
P!nk – F**kin' Perfect - Explicit Version
A Perfect Circle – Vanishing
The Pretty Reckless – Miss Nothing
Pulp – Anorexic Beauty
Rachel Kurtz – Hunger Strike
Radiohead – Talk Show Host
Regina Spektor – Better
Regina Spektor – The Call
Rilo Kiley – Portions For Foxes
Rilo Kiley – Jenny, You'Re Barely Alive
Rufus Wainwright – Cigarettes And Chocolate Milk
Saves The Day – Bones
Saves The Day – Cars & Calories
Sia – Breathe Me
Sia – I'm In Here
Simple Plan – Untitled - Domestic Album Version
Sixpence None The Richer – There She Goes
Skunk Anansie – Brazen Weep
Skylar Grey – Invisible
Stone Sour – Through Glass
Stone Sour – Bother
Superchick – Stand In The Rain
Superchick – Courage
Superchick – Beauty From Pain
Taking Back Sunday – A Decade Under The Influence
Ted Leo/Pharmacists – Me And Mia
Ted Leo/Pharmacists – Me And Mia
Tori Amos – Cornflake Girl
Tracy Chapman – All That You Have Is Your Soul - Live
U2 – I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For